A Case of Murder
I am slipping out of life into traps of life again again
death is desperately desperately deceiving me
four tigers and three wild boars
keep on fighting in opaque moonlight
from my false tongue the challenge of truth
burn children of men
their wails make my ears dumb
my tongue rises up to the seventh floor
I did cry when my lover was suffering
my epiglottis starts drying up when I kiss her
from the damp wet darkness around me
I am unable to make out whether I am Jesus Christ or a monster
restaurants are crowded with women
today nobody is able to find out a straight road to walk on
all roads keep on prostrating
all dusty storms seek refuge beneath the doormat
within all lives meaningless zeroes snuggle in quivering fear
aah fucking death-fucker death
scared of me unnatural death is as well scurrying out of fear
because I have understood the asphyxiating posture of death
because I had approached death with a simple man’s gaze
she closed her eyes because of fear
cried with her blind eyes head cowered down
and had to come back to my chaotic eyes in lonely sunlight
I am unable to conceal me from myself
dear love you smiled at my impotency
lying between fear and love you went back to your fear
just to live on you came back into my brain
I got thrown out into brain’s chaos from geometric calculations
hated civility and sought refuge in machinations of civilization
from acidity my anger was spawned
I flung myself into infinity from wrong social consciousness
daily three billion kisses through the telephone
running to and fro the world over
74 billion houseflies take wings from the railway wire
countless traps around my body
I scatter myself in life among humans
tried some tricks
I am unable to segregate your love from your deceiet
I am brooding over our first exchange of curses
I am brooding over our first kiss
my divine light is my darkness
all around me humiliation and trickery keep on being enacted
by human beings
humans never loved each other
from the roof of skyscrapers corpses with hearts keep on falling falling
I can make out how necessity is creeping up to the sky
I am unable to remember my religion as I never understood it
permanent and temporary wars go on among humans
wings of scented flowers take flight from the dusts of my ribs
from alcoholic blood foam stinky sharp love starts emanating
from love I gradually start floating in to body-less existence
my beloved’s violet face rage in sought after glows
I pour my present status in to unnecessary paper troves
poetry squeezes my life span from my being
humans are creating their dirty tricks from my love flesh and blood
for bringing back sick love
alas you too with human machines
from my warmth I created the feathers of roses
from commercial production you gathered a fistful of deceit
threw fire balls at me
I giggled like a baby
my existence was on fire
my anger covered the sky
nobody is able to shake hands with freedom
oh
a deep crater is gnawing big between me and everybody else
I know I would not be able to contribute
could not even love my own self as one would love to
I get tired of this one single life
at the same time I am either laughing or I am not laughing
oh tiredness tiredness untiring buzzing circular tunnels
loop-data-hunger-love-hatred
101% humans spend their life just by carrying other people’s loads
soul searches result into naught
revolution-rage-women-struggle-terror-wild-silence dances
I am unable to look back at me even once
could not serve humanity till today
I am lying down with nausea eyes in my unusable stupor
secret warfare is going on inside brain’s brew
my salivated love or my helplessness ooze out of my lips
mountains of shredded bloody human heaps keep on growing
helpless freedom
creep over skinny human body around human beingness
innumerable chaotic discipline
oh I never wanted to love
ah…………………….ah
ribcage break open in suppresses terror
engines of anger within
wildness mushrooming in the rage of blood
Subo Acharya had placed his salute at the feet of nonexistent soul
after three months of heinous silence Pradip Choudhuri squeezed himself in awe
I have mistaken human braveness and doubted
lived with wrong people and learned wrong things
I have volunteered to become a fool
with the low tide slyness and idiocy cover the entire darkness
Tridib himself has failed to recognize Tridib’s face quite so often
really I am unable to locate my clear truthful face
“humans do not have their own character”, cried out loud
352 billion humans what to talk of tradition and domesticated debauchery
oh unbearable pain
who are they throttling the neck
mine
they even are not aware of….
[ Translation by author of Hatyakando written originally in Bengali ]
( Written at Howrah, Shibpur home in 1963 and published in Malay Roychoudhury edited Zebra magazine during Hungry Generation movement )
death is desperately desperately deceiving me
four tigers and three wild boars
keep on fighting in opaque moonlight
from my false tongue the challenge of truth
burn children of men
their wails make my ears dumb
my tongue rises up to the seventh floor
I did cry when my lover was suffering
my epiglottis starts drying up when I kiss her
from the damp wet darkness around me
I am unable to make out whether I am Jesus Christ or a monster
restaurants are crowded with women
today nobody is able to find out a straight road to walk on
all roads keep on prostrating
all dusty storms seek refuge beneath the doormat
within all lives meaningless zeroes snuggle in quivering fear
aah fucking death-fucker death
scared of me unnatural death is as well scurrying out of fear
because I have understood the asphyxiating posture of death
because I had approached death with a simple man’s gaze
she closed her eyes because of fear
cried with her blind eyes head cowered down
and had to come back to my chaotic eyes in lonely sunlight
I am unable to conceal me from myself
dear love you smiled at my impotency
lying between fear and love you went back to your fear
just to live on you came back into my brain
I got thrown out into brain’s chaos from geometric calculations
hated civility and sought refuge in machinations of civilization
from acidity my anger was spawned
I flung myself into infinity from wrong social consciousness
daily three billion kisses through the telephone
running to and fro the world over
74 billion houseflies take wings from the railway wire
countless traps around my body
I scatter myself in life among humans
tried some tricks
I am unable to segregate your love from your deceiet
I am brooding over our first exchange of curses
I am brooding over our first kiss
my divine light is my darkness
all around me humiliation and trickery keep on being enacted
by human beings
humans never loved each other
from the roof of skyscrapers corpses with hearts keep on falling falling
I can make out how necessity is creeping up to the sky
I am unable to remember my religion as I never understood it
permanent and temporary wars go on among humans
wings of scented flowers take flight from the dusts of my ribs
from alcoholic blood foam stinky sharp love starts emanating
from love I gradually start floating in to body-less existence
my beloved’s violet face rage in sought after glows
I pour my present status in to unnecessary paper troves
poetry squeezes my life span from my being
humans are creating their dirty tricks from my love flesh and blood
for bringing back sick love
alas you too with human machines
from my warmth I created the feathers of roses
from commercial production you gathered a fistful of deceit
threw fire balls at me
I giggled like a baby
my existence was on fire
my anger covered the sky
nobody is able to shake hands with freedom
oh
a deep crater is gnawing big between me and everybody else
I know I would not be able to contribute
could not even love my own self as one would love to
I get tired of this one single life
at the same time I am either laughing or I am not laughing
oh tiredness tiredness untiring buzzing circular tunnels
loop-data-hunger-love-hatred
101% humans spend their life just by carrying other people’s loads
soul searches result into naught
revolution-rage-women-struggle-terror-wild-silence dances
I am unable to look back at me even once
could not serve humanity till today
I am lying down with nausea eyes in my unusable stupor
secret warfare is going on inside brain’s brew
my salivated love or my helplessness ooze out of my lips
mountains of shredded bloody human heaps keep on growing
helpless freedom
creep over skinny human body around human beingness
innumerable chaotic discipline
oh I never wanted to love
ah…………………….ah
ribcage break open in suppresses terror
engines of anger within
wildness mushrooming in the rage of blood
Subo Acharya had placed his salute at the feet of nonexistent soul
after three months of heinous silence Pradip Choudhuri squeezed himself in awe
I have mistaken human braveness and doubted
lived with wrong people and learned wrong things
I have volunteered to become a fool
with the low tide slyness and idiocy cover the entire darkness
Tridib himself has failed to recognize Tridib’s face quite so often
really I am unable to locate my clear truthful face
“humans do not have their own character”, cried out loud
352 billion humans what to talk of tradition and domesticated debauchery
oh unbearable pain
who are they throttling the neck
mine
they even are not aware of….
[ Translation by author of Hatyakando written originally in Bengali ]
( Written at Howrah, Shibpur home in 1963 and published in Malay Roychoudhury edited Zebra magazine during Hungry Generation movement )
